Hi everyone!
I definitely meant to send out a Christmas update, but life was a little crazy for us around that time, so Valentine's Day will have to do! It's kind of funny because Kevin and I have never been big Valentine's Day celebrators. Nothing against it, but we have absolutely no desire to go to a crowded restaurant, or buy the typical gifts, etc, so we just say that we celebrate Valentine's Day every day. Which is mostly true, but not always...
Anyway, this year has come and gone in a flash, it seems. Another child graduated from high school, another one started driving, another one started walking and talking... So many things happened in such a short amount of time, it seems. But I guess that's the way life goes... and we enjoy every minute of it.
Why don't we start with Myles? What a sunshine and joy he brings wherever he goes! He loves to wave and say "hi!" and "bye" to almost everyone who glances his way. (which is a lot of people, because he's so darn cute!) He started walking at 10 1/2 months, which was so crazy. He first said "mama" over and over while clearly looking at me on September 21st. He was only 9 months old! Since Logan was able to video it, I actually know the exact day! He reached these milestones so much earlier than our other boys, that it really blew our minds. So, he's a thriving, walking, talking, full blown into everything and eating a TON toddler these days. He keeps us on our toes spilling cat food on the floor, playing with the water in the toilet, unrolling toilet paper, climbing up or down the stairs if we forget and leave the gate open... you get the picture. But he also snuggles, hugs, laughs, smiles, and absolutely adores all four of his brothers, his grandparents, all of his buddies and, of course, mommy and daddy. We have such a different perspective on this season of life and (mostly) just laugh at all of his antics.
Cody is 14 and in the 8th grade. (did I really just write that?) He loves to run long distance (seems to be a theme in our family) and play violin. Cody participated in a Youth EP Project this year and wrote an original song! You'll be able to download it soon. Check in with my social media to find out when it's ready! We'd appreciate it if you purchase it and listen to it often. I am personally AMAZED at what came from that mind and heart of his, but I know I'm just slightly biased... He is very social, has some wonderful friends that we enjoy having over, loves Jesus and people well and is doing very well in school.
Logan is 16 and in the 10th grade. He has gotten his permit and has been practicing driving for several months now. We haven't scheduled his driving test, yet, but I'm sure that will happen soon because he's been chomping at the bits to drive for a while. Logan is also still running long distances and improved significantly during the cross country season. He placed 5th in the district race and 3rd on his team when he ran a 5K in 18:54. He is taking some hard classes this year and has struggled, but continues to keep a positive attitude and keeps persevering. He is also teaching children's church and is involved with our church youth group. He's still really funny, is great with young kids (especially is littlest bro) and has a tender heart.
Nick graduated from high school in May and was working around 30 hours per week at Whataburger while in school, then scored a great student worker job at the IT help desk at A&M. He was co-enrolled at our local community college (Blinn) and Texas A&M for the fall. However, he decided to change gears for a season, and has moved down to Peru for 6 months. He will be living with our friends who are missionaries down in Puerto Maldonado and joining with them in all the work that they are doing. We are excited for this opportunity for him to get some real life experience and to share the love of Jesus with people, many of whom have never heard the gospel before! Once his 6 month visa is up, he will return home and decide what his next step is for school or a job. There are so many opportunities for education these days outside of the traditional four year university, especially in the area of IT. So we will see what he decides and what new opportunities will open up for him.
Andrew is a sophomore and is currently taking some classes at Blinn as well as working through and on line school to get some computer programming and game design certifications. He has honed in on one aspect of IT, computer game design, and is also exploring opportunities outside of the traditional four year college degree, although he hasn't ruled out computer science at A&M. He has really branched out this year and has been the leader in organizing his friends for some gaming parties, birthday parties, out of town trips hiking, going to a gaming convention. He even traveled to Georgia by himself to attend a friend's wedding.
I think I usually say that Kevin and I are about the same, but we've had some big changes this year as well. Right after Thanksgiving, Kevin's company did some "cost reductions" and thousands of people were laid off, including Kevin. Gratefully, there was a severance package and also he was able to score a job with Brazos County pretty quickly. Since I work from home, we were able to enjoy about 6 weeks together and he had some good time with Myles as my job situation got interesting about the same time he was laid off...
I am still the owner of my wedding planning business, WonderfullyWed, but in recent years, I have wondered what my next step would be once my season of coordinating weddings came to an end. The long hours and late nights get harder and harder for me as I get older, even though I very much enjoy the work still. I had thought it might be fun, and a good use of my skills, to manage a venue. That is essentially part of what I'm doing now as well. At this point, I am mostly answering emails, texts, phone calls and scheduling tours. My plan is to train more employees as lead coordinators and gradually back off the day of coordination part of the business personally. I'm not exactly sure how this will look, but I'm trusting the Lord through this process as I am really enjoying the work at the venue and managing my business as well.
That's our year at a glance. I enjoyed receiving pictures and updates from many of you! We are so very grateful for every one of you and pray that you would know the fullest depth of Jesus' love for you this year and always!
Much love,
The Joyners
Thursday, February 14, 2019
Monday, February 4, 2019
Our Family Update
I decided to post our (sort of) yearly update on the blog this year. It just seemed easier to me than printing out, folding, stuffing envelopes and mailing. You can see a portion of our adoption journey in other posts, but this will focus on what "Erin and the boys" have been up for 2017 and part of 2018.
Andrew graduated from College Station High School in May 2017. He started working last summer and moved into a duplex with some friends in July. He is continuing in Kevin's footsteps by attending Texas A&M and majoring in Computer Science. He has learned a lot in the past year and has matured during his life experiences. He was recently promoted at his job after only working there (Urban Air) for a few weeks. We miss having him live at home, but still get to see him a couple of times a week since he attends our home group and our church. He also drops by about once a week to hold the baby. (awwww....) He plans to live with my parents, who live in Bryan, in their extra room off of the garage starting this summer. Living on his own for almost a year has taught him how expensive rent, utilities and "life" is, so he's going to live with them to save money.
Nick is graduating from College Station High School on June 1st. His senior year has been full of adventure and we are so proud of his accomplishments and leadership as a senior on his cross country team. Their team was ranked at #35 in pre season polls, and they surprised everyone (including themselves) by not only winning first place in District, but advancing to both the Region and State Meets and placing 15th in the 5A division in State. On Wednesday, Nick finished fourth in the 3200m race which qualified him to advance to Area, so we are not quite finished with sports for the year! Nick is also going to be attending Texas A&M in the fall and majoring in Computer Science as well. He'll have a different emphasis than Andrew or Kevin, but he and Andrew will both be in the College of Engineering. He recently started working at Whataburger and plans to save money by living at home while in school. Nick considers himself the baby's "second mom" and the two of them have hit is off quite well.
Logan is a freshman this year and is also on the cross country and track teams with Nick. He has excelled in both running and academics. He is taking all Pre AP classes as well as an AP Human Geography class. He has worked and studied hard this year and his grades reflect his work ethic. It's hard to believe that he will be starting driver's ed soon! He has always been our long term goal planner, so right now, he plans to attend Texas A&M, major in Computer Science and study Artificial Intelligence. He also plans to stay home to save money, so it looks like our nest won't be empty for a while! Logan loves nice, expensive cars, and notices pretty much every fancy car in sight when we are out and about. He dreams about being like Jay Leno and having his own car collection. He's also really funny, and keeps us laughing a lot, even though he's often shy and quiet around others. He loves to hold the baby, but only when he's not fussy ;-)
Cody is in 7th grade and actually loves school, which is so unusual for a middle school kid. He has continued to play my great aunt's violin from the 1600's in his school's orchestra. He has also chosen running as his sport and ran on the cross country team in the fall, and just finished track season. He's taking advanced Math and English and is enjoying his classes and teachers. He is our extroverted child who has a lot of friends and is not really thinking much about his future at this point in time. We're totally okay with that and enjoy his personality and the joy he brings to our family. He, too, is a wonderful big brother to the baby. It's been so sweet to see how each of them interacts and relates to our newest addition!
For the purposes of privacy, I won't be using the baby's name on our blog. We are currently raising him and he lives with us full time, but legally, he doesn't become ours until 6 months after the placement and termination of parental rights. That will happen sometime this summer. In the meantime, our adoption agency has custody and is supervising the placement in our home to make sure it is a good fit. Kevin and I both were unsure of what it would be like to have an infant again when some of our friends our age are already grandparents! But adoption is something that has always been on our hearts, and that desire, that we believe is from the Lord, only grew stronger the older we got. So, here we are and the verdict is in! We LOVE it! For me, I haven't felt as tired as before I think mostly because I wasn't pregnant and didn't just give birth. The baby is bottle fed, and that is so nice to not be the only one that can feed him! We have a completely different perspective on these baby years because we now truly know that they go by SO FAST! Yes, we'll be in our 60s when he graduates from high school, so we plan to stay as active and healthy as possible so that we can enjoy those years as much as we have our first four children. Baby Joyner is a delightful boy who is content and happy 99% of the time. He hasn't even been sick yet and he sleeps really well. We have a private facebook page set up with more photos and updates. If you haven't already been added and would like to be, please let Kevin or I know and we'll add you. I also post photos on my instagram account.
Kevin and I are pretty much the same. We celebrated 20 years of marriage in August. He is still working at NCR and enjoys his job. His boss and coworkers adore him, of course. I still own WonderfullyWed and have been able to manage the business and the baby pretty easily, so far. We are getting into the busy season over the next few months, so we shall see. Having a baby with teenagers is extremely helpful for me because I have three in home baby sitters. Plus, I do a lot of work from home on my computer while he's napping.
Thanks for visiting and taking the time to read about our family. The Lord is so merciful and kind to us and we are extremely grateful. We wish you many blessings on the rest of this year and look forward to catching up with you in person or on social media!
Andrew graduated from College Station High School in May 2017. He started working last summer and moved into a duplex with some friends in July. He is continuing in Kevin's footsteps by attending Texas A&M and majoring in Computer Science. He has learned a lot in the past year and has matured during his life experiences. He was recently promoted at his job after only working there (Urban Air) for a few weeks. We miss having him live at home, but still get to see him a couple of times a week since he attends our home group and our church. He also drops by about once a week to hold the baby. (awwww....) He plans to live with my parents, who live in Bryan, in their extra room off of the garage starting this summer. Living on his own for almost a year has taught him how expensive rent, utilities and "life" is, so he's going to live with them to save money.
Nick is graduating from College Station High School on June 1st. His senior year has been full of adventure and we are so proud of his accomplishments and leadership as a senior on his cross country team. Their team was ranked at #35 in pre season polls, and they surprised everyone (including themselves) by not only winning first place in District, but advancing to both the Region and State Meets and placing 15th in the 5A division in State. On Wednesday, Nick finished fourth in the 3200m race which qualified him to advance to Area, so we are not quite finished with sports for the year! Nick is also going to be attending Texas A&M in the fall and majoring in Computer Science as well. He'll have a different emphasis than Andrew or Kevin, but he and Andrew will both be in the College of Engineering. He recently started working at Whataburger and plans to save money by living at home while in school. Nick considers himself the baby's "second mom" and the two of them have hit is off quite well.
Logan is a freshman this year and is also on the cross country and track teams with Nick. He has excelled in both running and academics. He is taking all Pre AP classes as well as an AP Human Geography class. He has worked and studied hard this year and his grades reflect his work ethic. It's hard to believe that he will be starting driver's ed soon! He has always been our long term goal planner, so right now, he plans to attend Texas A&M, major in Computer Science and study Artificial Intelligence. He also plans to stay home to save money, so it looks like our nest won't be empty for a while! Logan loves nice, expensive cars, and notices pretty much every fancy car in sight when we are out and about. He dreams about being like Jay Leno and having his own car collection. He's also really funny, and keeps us laughing a lot, even though he's often shy and quiet around others. He loves to hold the baby, but only when he's not fussy ;-)
Cody is in 7th grade and actually loves school, which is so unusual for a middle school kid. He has continued to play my great aunt's violin from the 1600's in his school's orchestra. He has also chosen running as his sport and ran on the cross country team in the fall, and just finished track season. He's taking advanced Math and English and is enjoying his classes and teachers. He is our extroverted child who has a lot of friends and is not really thinking much about his future at this point in time. We're totally okay with that and enjoy his personality and the joy he brings to our family. He, too, is a wonderful big brother to the baby. It's been so sweet to see how each of them interacts and relates to our newest addition!
For the purposes of privacy, I won't be using the baby's name on our blog. We are currently raising him and he lives with us full time, but legally, he doesn't become ours until 6 months after the placement and termination of parental rights. That will happen sometime this summer. In the meantime, our adoption agency has custody and is supervising the placement in our home to make sure it is a good fit. Kevin and I both were unsure of what it would be like to have an infant again when some of our friends our age are already grandparents! But adoption is something that has always been on our hearts, and that desire, that we believe is from the Lord, only grew stronger the older we got. So, here we are and the verdict is in! We LOVE it! For me, I haven't felt as tired as before I think mostly because I wasn't pregnant and didn't just give birth. The baby is bottle fed, and that is so nice to not be the only one that can feed him! We have a completely different perspective on these baby years because we now truly know that they go by SO FAST! Yes, we'll be in our 60s when he graduates from high school, so we plan to stay as active and healthy as possible so that we can enjoy those years as much as we have our first four children. Baby Joyner is a delightful boy who is content and happy 99% of the time. He hasn't even been sick yet and he sleeps really well. We have a private facebook page set up with more photos and updates. If you haven't already been added and would like to be, please let Kevin or I know and we'll add you. I also post photos on my instagram account.
Kevin and I are pretty much the same. We celebrated 20 years of marriage in August. He is still working at NCR and enjoys his job. His boss and coworkers adore him, of course. I still own WonderfullyWed and have been able to manage the business and the baby pretty easily, so far. We are getting into the busy season over the next few months, so we shall see. Having a baby with teenagers is extremely helpful for me because I have three in home baby sitters. Plus, I do a lot of work from home on my computer while he's napping.
Thanks for visiting and taking the time to read about our family. The Lord is so merciful and kind to us and we are extremely grateful. We wish you many blessings on the rest of this year and look forward to catching up with you in person or on social media!
Thursday, February 15, 2018
Our son's story... as we know it now
The last two months have been a whirlwind for us. I've been processing and thinking about what to write several times a week, but of course, little man's care is time consuming, to say the least. We are loving having a baby again, and the lack of sleep hasn't been bad at all. There's just been grace for it. There's no other way to put it. He's an easy baby, we're more relaxed parents, and having very helpful teenagers around has been very helpful. However, the purpose of this post is to share our guy's story, or as much of it as we know. Some of the story is not for public knowledge, because it's his story. But what I want to share with you shows just how kind, loving, sovereign and amazing our heavenly Father is towards all of His children.
There are several people who are involved in this story, so I'm saying first names only for their privacy. And I won't be telling my readers the name of my son because if you don't know it, then we're not really very close friends. And I want to protect him. So we'll call him Fred.
Fred's birth mom was not aware that she was pregnant. She went to the doctor and they ran a precautionary pregnancy test and discovered that she was, indeed, pregnant. Fred's birth grandmother was very upset about this news. She told one of her coworkers, William, that her daughter was pregnant and that she had made an appointment for her in Houston to get an abortion. William tried talking to her about other options, like adoption, and explaining to her that this baby has a beating heart, fingers, toes, etc, and was an actual human being. He even told her about an adoption agency in town that would walk her through the process. However, Grandmother was convinced that abortion was the best and took her daughter for the appointment anyway. In the meantime, William asked members of his church to pray for this family and pray that the Lord would spare this baby's life.
Backing up several years. Kevin and I started the adoption process several years ago, and somewhere along the way, I had created an email group of about 20 friends who were interested in hearing about our adoption journey and wanted to be praying for us. Three families in that email group attend William's church.
In the state of Texas, abortion clinics are required to perform an ultrasound before consenting to abortion services. Also in the state of Texas, it is illegal for a clinic to perform an abortion after 20 weeks. When Fred's birth mom went to her appointment, they discovered that she was 24 weeks pregnant! That is stunning considering about a week before, she didn't even know she was pregnant. The clinic workers advised birth grandmother as to where she could go to have it done legally, but she remembered her conversation with William and decided that "she could not do that to this baby", in her words. So, she decided to visit the adoption agency that we had signed up with to be adoptive parents.
Our adoption agency requires that each adoptive family create a "Life Book". They use the books to help a potential birth mom "get acquainted" with the adoptive families and to narrow down their selection choices before meeting with the families. Our adoption agency showed the birth mom/grandmother our Life Book, and grandmother's best friend was looking through the book with her. In our book was a photo of a young woman who Kevin and I "adopted" spiritually about 10 years ago. That's a whole other story, but it's important because I put this photo in our Life Book to show potential birth families our heart to take in kids who need families. The photo in our Life Book was one with me, Shawna (our adopted spiritual daughter) and our friend Laurie. We've been friends with Laurie for at least 15 years, and her husband Eric was an usher in our wedding. They are our people. We love them very dearly. So, as our birth family and grandmother's best friend were looking at our Life Book, the best friend saw the picture of Laurie and said, "I know her! We taught together for about 8 years!" So, best friend contacted Laurie and asked her about us. Laurie said a lot of sweet things about us and our boys, and best friend said, "Anyone who Laurie thinks that highly of are great people." Fred's birth grandmother said from then on that she didn't want to see any other books and that we were the family that she wanted to raise Fred.
Laurie is one of the people who was on my adoption prayer email list AND she also attends William's church. Remember William?
Our adoption agency practices "Open Adoption" which means that we will have a relationship with our birth family, or at least try to have one. It's healthier for the birthmom, the baby and the adoptive family. So, we met them about 6 weeks before Fred was born, had a little contact before the birth, and were at the hospital when he was born. Our local hospital gives adoptive families their own room for free, so I was actually able to have Fred in my room with me at night, and some during the day. There were several aspects of that weekend that were stressful, and I won't get into that on here. But on Monday morning, when my emotions were fried and I just couldn't wait to get home and hold and keep my baby, I received an amazing email from my friend Karen, who is on my adoption email list.
Karen's email basically said this;
She told me about her friend, William, who had asked the church to pray for the life of a baby who's birth mom/grandmother, were heading down to Houston to abort the baby. Birth grandmother had sent William a picture of Fred when he was born, and William sent the photo to his church family and said, "This is the baby we prayed for a couple of months ago! He was born and is being adopted by a family" In the meantime, I had sent a couple of photos to my adoption prayer group, and Karen just put two and two together that THIS WAS THE SAME BABY!!! We know several people at this church, but some of them are dear, close friends. It is amazing to us that the Lord had them pray for OUR baby a couple of months ago for protection from abortion AND praying for him again as we were walking through the adoption process.
WHAT AN AMAZING GOD WE SERVE!!
There are several people who are involved in this story, so I'm saying first names only for their privacy. And I won't be telling my readers the name of my son because if you don't know it, then we're not really very close friends. And I want to protect him. So we'll call him Fred.
Fred's birth mom was not aware that she was pregnant. She went to the doctor and they ran a precautionary pregnancy test and discovered that she was, indeed, pregnant. Fred's birth grandmother was very upset about this news. She told one of her coworkers, William, that her daughter was pregnant and that she had made an appointment for her in Houston to get an abortion. William tried talking to her about other options, like adoption, and explaining to her that this baby has a beating heart, fingers, toes, etc, and was an actual human being. He even told her about an adoption agency in town that would walk her through the process. However, Grandmother was convinced that abortion was the best and took her daughter for the appointment anyway. In the meantime, William asked members of his church to pray for this family and pray that the Lord would spare this baby's life.
Backing up several years. Kevin and I started the adoption process several years ago, and somewhere along the way, I had created an email group of about 20 friends who were interested in hearing about our adoption journey and wanted to be praying for us. Three families in that email group attend William's church.
In the state of Texas, abortion clinics are required to perform an ultrasound before consenting to abortion services. Also in the state of Texas, it is illegal for a clinic to perform an abortion after 20 weeks. When Fred's birth mom went to her appointment, they discovered that she was 24 weeks pregnant! That is stunning considering about a week before, she didn't even know she was pregnant. The clinic workers advised birth grandmother as to where she could go to have it done legally, but she remembered her conversation with William and decided that "she could not do that to this baby", in her words. So, she decided to visit the adoption agency that we had signed up with to be adoptive parents.
Our adoption agency requires that each adoptive family create a "Life Book". They use the books to help a potential birth mom "get acquainted" with the adoptive families and to narrow down their selection choices before meeting with the families. Our adoption agency showed the birth mom/grandmother our Life Book, and grandmother's best friend was looking through the book with her. In our book was a photo of a young woman who Kevin and I "adopted" spiritually about 10 years ago. That's a whole other story, but it's important because I put this photo in our Life Book to show potential birth families our heart to take in kids who need families. The photo in our Life Book was one with me, Shawna (our adopted spiritual daughter) and our friend Laurie. We've been friends with Laurie for at least 15 years, and her husband Eric was an usher in our wedding. They are our people. We love them very dearly. So, as our birth family and grandmother's best friend were looking at our Life Book, the best friend saw the picture of Laurie and said, "I know her! We taught together for about 8 years!" So, best friend contacted Laurie and asked her about us. Laurie said a lot of sweet things about us and our boys, and best friend said, "Anyone who Laurie thinks that highly of are great people." Fred's birth grandmother said from then on that she didn't want to see any other books and that we were the family that she wanted to raise Fred.
Laurie is one of the people who was on my adoption prayer email list AND she also attends William's church. Remember William?
Our adoption agency practices "Open Adoption" which means that we will have a relationship with our birth family, or at least try to have one. It's healthier for the birthmom, the baby and the adoptive family. So, we met them about 6 weeks before Fred was born, had a little contact before the birth, and were at the hospital when he was born. Our local hospital gives adoptive families their own room for free, so I was actually able to have Fred in my room with me at night, and some during the day. There were several aspects of that weekend that were stressful, and I won't get into that on here. But on Monday morning, when my emotions were fried and I just couldn't wait to get home and hold and keep my baby, I received an amazing email from my friend Karen, who is on my adoption email list.
Karen's email basically said this;
She told me about her friend, William, who had asked the church to pray for the life of a baby who's birth mom/grandmother, were heading down to Houston to abort the baby. Birth grandmother had sent William a picture of Fred when he was born, and William sent the photo to his church family and said, "This is the baby we prayed for a couple of months ago! He was born and is being adopted by a family" In the meantime, I had sent a couple of photos to my adoption prayer group, and Karen just put two and two together that THIS WAS THE SAME BABY!!! We know several people at this church, but some of them are dear, close friends. It is amazing to us that the Lord had them pray for OUR baby a couple of months ago for protection from abortion AND praying for him again as we were walking through the adoption process.
WHAT AN AMAZING GOD WE SERVE!!
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
What about our bio kids?
Adoption can be messy. Back in the days, people who were adopted often weren't even told they were adopted. The thinking was that it would upset them and make them feel different. We then progressed to people knowing they were adopted, but the files which would let them know who their biological parents are were sealed, so they never knew their history, their family origin or why their birth mother chose adoption for them. I have friends in this situation, and it is a struggle for them to just never know all the answers to their questions. I also know friends who have adopted siblings who struggled terribly emotionally and it was a strain on their family. We've all heard stories of children adopted from Russian orphanages who have significant attachment issues. We have friends who have walked through the pain of a failed adoption. We're not walking into this blindly. This could effect our entire family negatively. We have a desire for a transracial adoption, and so ours will be. Yes, we understand this could cause our adopted child some trouble over time. They might feel as though they don't fit in. We know all this, and so do our bio kids. Their response to this has been part of our confirmation that this is the path the Lord has for us.
About 10 years ago, we went to Tennessee for a family vacation and attended a large prayer meeting named "The Call" held at the Tennessee Titans football stadium. There was worship and prayer the entire day. Part of the time was dedicated to praying for an end to abortion. This topic is very near and dear to our hearts. There was a tent set up on the premises for people who had chosen abortion in the past to put a pair of baby shoes with a name for their baby that they had aborted. The desire was to bring healing and closure to this painful decision. There were a LOT of shoes. It was very somber and moving. During part of the prayer, I was weeping and my young boys asked me why I was crying. I had to explain to them what abortion is in the best way I could, and they innocently asked, "Why would a mommy chose that? Babies are so sweet." It was a precious memory for me as a mom. There was a also a challenge given to those attending the prayer time. If we are going to ask these moms to choose life and their circumstances are so dire that they feel like they can't bring a child into the world to raise, then are we also willing to stand up and adopt their babies? We have to be willing to be truly pro life in all areas and that includes being a part of adoption. I believe as Christians, participating in adoption and foster care is not an option. Not everyone is called to actually adopt, but we are all called to support widows and orphans and can support adoption in many ways that doesn't include actually adopting. On that day, we knew the Lord was calling our family to adopt. Not just Kevin and me, but the boys would be included as well.
So, three years ago, when we felt the Lord released us to move forward with adoption, we told the boys if even one of them was not on board with this decision, we wouldn't do it. It affects all of us, not just Kevin and me. I'm pretty sure they didn't hesitate at all in that discussion to say "Yes" to the call and the Lord. Something that is also very extraordinary about our kids is that they all LOVE young children and are kid magnets themselves. We've had so many people over the years talk about this. "Your kids are so good with our kids". All four of them. Kevin and I always say, "We wish we could tell you how to parent that, but it's not anything we've done." It truly is just the Lord's favor and even more confirmation in our hearts that this is what He has called us to as a family.
Now that we're finally here, they boys are super excited about it. They've been telling their friends and we've been talking about names and planning what all we're going to do once the baby arrives. I'm pretty sure once they get home from school, I won't even be able to hold the baby and I know they'll be super helpful, as they always are. It truly melts my heart.
We're thankful for this challenge. Yes, we are much older than we expected to be when we said "yes" to the Call, but we are also wiser and more patient. We know that the sleepless nights will end and some day we'll be sending this little one off into the world as we did with Andrew this summer. Our child will struggle. There will be some generational issues to walk through (think nature vs nurture) and we won't always have the answers. We won't always feel equipped to answer the questions. But we do know this; Our God's grace is sufficient. His mercies are new every morning and His faithfulness and kindness towards us is so great. We can trust Him every step of the way. His heart and love towards this child is far greater than ours. He's more concerned with the future and His people than we will ever be. So we feel honored to be a part of this child's story and to be the ones to love and nurture this life.
About 10 years ago, we went to Tennessee for a family vacation and attended a large prayer meeting named "The Call" held at the Tennessee Titans football stadium. There was worship and prayer the entire day. Part of the time was dedicated to praying for an end to abortion. This topic is very near and dear to our hearts. There was a tent set up on the premises for people who had chosen abortion in the past to put a pair of baby shoes with a name for their baby that they had aborted. The desire was to bring healing and closure to this painful decision. There were a LOT of shoes. It was very somber and moving. During part of the prayer, I was weeping and my young boys asked me why I was crying. I had to explain to them what abortion is in the best way I could, and they innocently asked, "Why would a mommy chose that? Babies are so sweet." It was a precious memory for me as a mom. There was a also a challenge given to those attending the prayer time. If we are going to ask these moms to choose life and their circumstances are so dire that they feel like they can't bring a child into the world to raise, then are we also willing to stand up and adopt their babies? We have to be willing to be truly pro life in all areas and that includes being a part of adoption. I believe as Christians, participating in adoption and foster care is not an option. Not everyone is called to actually adopt, but we are all called to support widows and orphans and can support adoption in many ways that doesn't include actually adopting. On that day, we knew the Lord was calling our family to adopt. Not just Kevin and me, but the boys would be included as well.
So, three years ago, when we felt the Lord released us to move forward with adoption, we told the boys if even one of them was not on board with this decision, we wouldn't do it. It affects all of us, not just Kevin and me. I'm pretty sure they didn't hesitate at all in that discussion to say "Yes" to the call and the Lord. Something that is also very extraordinary about our kids is that they all LOVE young children and are kid magnets themselves. We've had so many people over the years talk about this. "Your kids are so good with our kids". All four of them. Kevin and I always say, "We wish we could tell you how to parent that, but it's not anything we've done." It truly is just the Lord's favor and even more confirmation in our hearts that this is what He has called us to as a family.
Now that we're finally here, they boys are super excited about it. They've been telling their friends and we've been talking about names and planning what all we're going to do once the baby arrives. I'm pretty sure once they get home from school, I won't even be able to hold the baby and I know they'll be super helpful, as they always are. It truly melts my heart.
We're thankful for this challenge. Yes, we are much older than we expected to be when we said "yes" to the Call, but we are also wiser and more patient. We know that the sleepless nights will end and some day we'll be sending this little one off into the world as we did with Andrew this summer. Our child will struggle. There will be some generational issues to walk through (think nature vs nurture) and we won't always have the answers. We won't always feel equipped to answer the questions. But we do know this; Our God's grace is sufficient. His mercies are new every morning and His faithfulness and kindness towards us is so great. We can trust Him every step of the way. His heart and love towards this child is far greater than ours. He's more concerned with the future and His people than we will ever be. So we feel honored to be a part of this child's story and to be the ones to love and nurture this life.
Monday, November 27, 2017
WE ARE BLOWN AWAY!!!
OH MY GOSH, ya'll! We have had quite an evening and a complete turn around from our last post.
Short story: Tonight, our adoption was completely funded!!
Longer story: Our friend, Brittany (the same friend who donated a ton of breastmilk), is a go getter. She really has a gift and favor for making things happen. She has worked to fundraise money to cover hospital bills for her cousin's daughter that was extremely ill and on a heart transplant list a few years ago. (She is actually a healthy almost three year old that never got a heart transplant because God healed her). She also organized to have groceries bought for her sister for a year after her sister's husband was tragically killed in a car accident and she was left with their three kids. She is a distributor for Young Living, and is in a group who are really passionate about adoption. A couple in her upline posted that they wanted to donate to something really big this year, and Brittany, and one of our other friends, Ashley, told them about us. Our story really moved them (they are fostering to adopt some kiddos) and they picked us to donate to. Our adoption. Our family. We are blown away. They asked how much we still owed and they are going to provide the balance due!
And if that wasn't already enough, Brittany and Janna (another friend) got on the phone and contacted a some of our friends from our church and invited them to our house to celebrate with us after they shared the news with us. We were on facetime with this precious couple who shared what they were doing for us. They live in Oregon. They don't even know us. We were speechless. (If you can imagine Kevin unable to talk). We just sat and cried.
And on top of it all, our son, Andrew, had good news as well. He is working to pay his way through college at Texas A&M, and ran out of money before his last installment was due. We have been praying for the Lord to miraculously provide for him, too, and today, his grandma (Kevin's mom) called to let him know that she was going to give him enough money to pay for his last installment as well.
We are truly amazed. We have already received several donations, and we are so grateful for everyone who gave. Tonight was a huge gift, but every gift no matter the size was enormously important and means so much to us! From the bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU!
And I am writing this down to:
1) Speak (No, Shout!) of the Lord's goodness and kindness towards us. We were backed against the wall, and He came through as only He can.
2) So that when I wake up in the morning I will have physical proof of what happened tonight.
Thank you for your prayers and kind words. This part of the journey is just the beginning of what is yet to come for us, so we will need continued prayers as we venture out into a situation with a lot of uncertainty and unknowns. But we know that He is faithful. He shows us that over and over again. Even thought we don't deserve it, He loves us fiercely.
Short story: Tonight, our adoption was completely funded!!
Longer story: Our friend, Brittany (the same friend who donated a ton of breastmilk), is a go getter. She really has a gift and favor for making things happen. She has worked to fundraise money to cover hospital bills for her cousin's daughter that was extremely ill and on a heart transplant list a few years ago. (She is actually a healthy almost three year old that never got a heart transplant because God healed her). She also organized to have groceries bought for her sister for a year after her sister's husband was tragically killed in a car accident and she was left with their three kids. She is a distributor for Young Living, and is in a group who are really passionate about adoption. A couple in her upline posted that they wanted to donate to something really big this year, and Brittany, and one of our other friends, Ashley, told them about us. Our story really moved them (they are fostering to adopt some kiddos) and they picked us to donate to. Our adoption. Our family. We are blown away. They asked how much we still owed and they are going to provide the balance due!
And if that wasn't already enough, Brittany and Janna (another friend) got on the phone and contacted a some of our friends from our church and invited them to our house to celebrate with us after they shared the news with us. We were on facetime with this precious couple who shared what they were doing for us. They live in Oregon. They don't even know us. We were speechless. (If you can imagine Kevin unable to talk). We just sat and cried.
And on top of it all, our son, Andrew, had good news as well. He is working to pay his way through college at Texas A&M, and ran out of money before his last installment was due. We have been praying for the Lord to miraculously provide for him, too, and today, his grandma (Kevin's mom) called to let him know that she was going to give him enough money to pay for his last installment as well.
We are truly amazed. We have already received several donations, and we are so grateful for everyone who gave. Tonight was a huge gift, but every gift no matter the size was enormously important and means so much to us! From the bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU!
And I am writing this down to:
1) Speak (No, Shout!) of the Lord's goodness and kindness towards us. We were backed against the wall, and He came through as only He can.
2) So that when I wake up in the morning I will have physical proof of what happened tonight.
Thank you for your prayers and kind words. This part of the journey is just the beginning of what is yet to come for us, so we will need continued prayers as we venture out into a situation with a lot of uncertainty and unknowns. But we know that He is faithful. He shows us that over and over again. Even thought we don't deserve it, He loves us fiercely.
Sunday, November 26, 2017
Just an update...And a little bit of rambling about where we are....
Ya'll are so sweet to keep asking about updates. I don't have anything to report, which is actually really good. Our birthmom has not gone into labor yet, they haven't changed their minds, and everything is still good to go.
We are still lacking about $2800 for our first deposit. We believe the Lord will provide all that we need and we are so thankful for what we have received so far. So far, our donations have really blown us away. Ya'll have given so generously. It's really humbling.
Kevin is looking over my shoulder and saying, "It's okay to share that we still struggle with this and aren't always trusting perfectly" So yes, we have times (sometimes daily) where we struggle with trusting and wondering. Did we really hear from God on this? Will He really provide? Oh.my.gosh. Another newborn? Diapers, spit up, crying again? What?
Last weekend, I moved our furniture around to make room for a dresser and pack n play in our room to try to make it more real and to just be ready for when we get "the call". It's so weird because I'm not pregnant this time, so no feeling the baby move, no contractions. Just an empty bed for a tiny person and lots of cute little baby clothes. And did I mention that my friend, Brittany, donated about 5 gallons of breastmilk to us? And, in the midst of His provision, we struggle with believing His provision. It's crazy, and a whirl wind of emotions.
Kevin has been recently impacted by Psalm 78:19-20. It's the story of the Israelites in the desert and how they spoke against God and wondering if He would provide. So, He provided water, and they said, "But can He provide bread or meat for His people?" So we've been disciplining ourselves to be thankful for every provision, no matter how big or small and be thankful in the midst of uncertainty and questions.
It's important to us that we be real with you and not try to pretend that we have it all together, because we don't. Sometimes we're full of faith, and sometimes we're like the Isrealites often were. I'm pretty sure that's okay with the Lord, though, since the Bible is full of stories of imperfect people who struggled and totally messed up. Alot.
I was also recently reminded by a friend of the story, again of the Israelites, when they were leaving Egypt and being chased down by the Egyptian army. They were stranded in front of the Red Sea with no where to go. There was the Red Sea on one side, and the Egyptian Army on the other side. God HAD to come through. There was no back up plan. Their choices were drown or be trampled. So he HAD to rescue them. And we know He did. But for however long they stood there and waited before He parted the Red Sea, they had to have been freaking out at their choices. Who would've blamed them?
So here we are.. our only option is to trust Him. And we do. Mostly. Or maybe sort of. Definitely not perfectly. And that's okay. He love us anyway.
Thursday, November 16, 2017
How did you know it was time?
A little over three years ago, my friend starting talking about an amazing women's conference called "You Are" that was going to be in Bryan/College Station. I reluctantly registered (I don't really like women's conferences, or conferences in general) because I love my friend and she was so excited about it. On the evening of the first day of the conference, I thought I was arriving late. I was planning to sneak in the back and then leave early. I obviously got the times wrong because I ended up arriving early. I wasn't able to just sneak in because I saw at least 10 of my friends on the way in. When I walked into the room, there was worship music playing and I immediately started crying. This is the good kind of cry when the Lord is moving in your heart. As I was worshiping, I saw myself, in my mind's eye, beating my head against a wall. That was a great image of where I was spiritually and emotionally. Needless to say, I enjoyed the conference. At the end of the last day, we were given the opportunity to enter some rooms set up with couches, music, fragrances and some Bible study guidelines. It was in one of these rooms that the Lord spoke to me and told me that it was time to adopt. I journaled my heart out as my Savior spoke to me very specifically about some things in my life.
About 11 years ago, our dear friends, Dane and Laurie, had adopted their son through Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach (APO). I attended their entrustment ceremony which is when the birth mom entrusts the baby to the adoptive parents. I've never experienced the presence of God so powerfully in my life. It was one of the most amazing experiences. I knew from that day forward that when we adopted, it would be through APO.
After I shared my experience at the conference with Kevin, we decided to contact them and attend our first meeting. I don't remember exactly when the first meeting was, but it was about three years ago. I honestly thought we'd be matched quickly since we'd already waited for so long. But you probably already know that sometimes God's timeline is different than ours. But it's always perfect.
During the waiting, we've learned a lot, cried a lot, enjoyed the wonderful kiddos that we have, still longing for the one or two in our hearts. There have been times when the waiting has been sweet. And other times when it's been unbearable. Through APO, we are required to attend quarterly meetings with other adoptive couples. We've enjoyed hearing their stories and cried at the infertility and loss stories. Some have lived through failed adoptions. We know that this story could be the same. Adoption is risky. It's messy. It's beautiful.
On September 14, I attended a brunch that is designed to raise awareness among area church leaders about the upcoming "You Are" conference. The conference founder, Stephanie Lee, was sharing about her daughter that she lost when she passed away in the womb. The testimony really tugged at my heart and I started crying and longing again for my adopted child. I asked Stephanie to pray for me after the brunch, and she reminded me to keep praying and asking. Even if it doesn't come to pass, I still get more of Jesus. That afternoon, we got a call from one of the APO caseworkers. She told us some information about a potential birthmom. There are some dire circumstances in her life, and she wanted to know if it would be okay if she shared our Life Book with her. Kevin happened to be home when she called. We said we'd discuss it and call her back. We talked for about 30 seconds and then called her back with a "Yes!"
We'll go from here in my next post...
About 11 years ago, our dear friends, Dane and Laurie, had adopted their son through Aggieland Pregnancy Outreach (APO). I attended their entrustment ceremony which is when the birth mom entrusts the baby to the adoptive parents. I've never experienced the presence of God so powerfully in my life. It was one of the most amazing experiences. I knew from that day forward that when we adopted, it would be through APO.
After I shared my experience at the conference with Kevin, we decided to contact them and attend our first meeting. I don't remember exactly when the first meeting was, but it was about three years ago. I honestly thought we'd be matched quickly since we'd already waited for so long. But you probably already know that sometimes God's timeline is different than ours. But it's always perfect.
During the waiting, we've learned a lot, cried a lot, enjoyed the wonderful kiddos that we have, still longing for the one or two in our hearts. There have been times when the waiting has been sweet. And other times when it's been unbearable. Through APO, we are required to attend quarterly meetings with other adoptive couples. We've enjoyed hearing their stories and cried at the infertility and loss stories. Some have lived through failed adoptions. We know that this story could be the same. Adoption is risky. It's messy. It's beautiful.
On September 14, I attended a brunch that is designed to raise awareness among area church leaders about the upcoming "You Are" conference. The conference founder, Stephanie Lee, was sharing about her daughter that she lost when she passed away in the womb. The testimony really tugged at my heart and I started crying and longing again for my adopted child. I asked Stephanie to pray for me after the brunch, and she reminded me to keep praying and asking. Even if it doesn't come to pass, I still get more of Jesus. That afternoon, we got a call from one of the APO caseworkers. She told us some information about a potential birthmom. There are some dire circumstances in her life, and she wanted to know if it would be okay if she shared our Life Book with her. Kevin happened to be home when she called. We said we'd discuss it and call her back. We talked for about 30 seconds and then called her back with a "Yes!"
We'll go from here in my next post...
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